28

You sneak through the harem, congratulating yourself on your sneaky stealthiness. Your self‐back‐patting is abruptly cut short when you hear a chorus of girlish squeals behind you and suddenly find yourself surrounded by harem girls.

“It’s The Bard! It’s The Bard!” They shriek. They carry you on their shoulders into a room with a small stage at one end. Someone shoves an acoustic guitarrr (the favorite instrument of all pirates) into your hands.

“Play a song! Play a song!” They chant. Since you don’t want to get caught and thrown to the Elite Guardsmen, you’d better play. You try to remember a few of the tunes you used to play before you got complete and total amnesia. (I bet you forgot you had amnesia, didn’t you?)

• To play the classic rock ‘n’ roll song “Boozember Rain,” go to Section 2
• To play the hit crooner song “It’s Completely Ordinary,” go to Section 21
• To play the hit hip‐hop tune “My Mistress Is Advanced in the Rear,” go to Section 40